Twice this month I had to defend my sexuality.. Once to my grandmother and once to a co-worker who I thought was my friend at one point.


I really never thought I would have to defend my sexuality to my family... And if I did I never thought that I would be so animated about it... So god sakes I through my back out.



I am an open and out lesbian... People may think that we choose to be gay... the only choice we have is to ignore or embrace our instincts. My eye goes to a female just the way a straight mans does...The people I know may even think that I myself chose to be gay... Yes I admit that I have been in relationships when men (boys really).. Yes I also admit that the last male relationship I was in the fool was 11 years older then I was... I started dating him when I was 16... I knew that I liked girls, I however didn't know how at accept it.

I was raised Catholic... Not that I was forced to go to church and had my first communion or anything, but just the basics. God says its wrong to be gay. A man and a woman are to be married not 2 men and 2 ladies...

The thing that made me stop believing in god was that exact thing. I think I was about 12 or 13. When I first really realized that I found myself attracted to woman. I guess the first crush I had was back in kindergarten on my teacher... I remember always trying to make her look at me... To make her pay attention to me. That's my earliest memory of trying to get the attention of a female... But growing up the way I did I thought that it was wrong. Not until I think I was in 7th grade did I really start to question my sexuality.



Going into my freshman year is where I met Angie. We met at band camp.. I know since that retarded America Pie movie.... God I really hate that movie. Because every time I try to tell someone about how me and Angie met this is what is said..."One time at band camp".. I really fucking hate it!

But it's the truth. She and I really did meet at band camp... And there was an immediate attraction. She thinks that I don't remember but I do.

After the summer we started hanging out on a regular basis.. It was awesome, this girl was raised that same was that I was. She and I both grew up catholic. But she was comfortable with who she was... Well it seemed that way to me anyway.

But we got along beautifully.. We started sleeping together. We became best friends... Until the day she asked me to be her girlfriend... I had a boyfriend at the time and told her no... She would tell me about how "in love" she was with her friend and then turn around and tell me that she was in love with me... I told her that there was no way that she was in love with me if she was still soooo hung up on this friend... The day that I told her no was pretty much the day that my heart broke. She stopped talking to me all together.. She treated me like total shit until the day that our good friend died in a car accident... She was the one who told me. He died the same day that my great grandmother died... I was devastated. And torn because Angie and I were talking again. But that was short lived. The girl Angie was seeing refused to have any relationship with her until she was over me... So in continuing a relationship with me her girlfriend would break up with her.
The years went by and we met up again. She was in a relationship with another girl and I was in a relationship with a d-bag we'll name, Shalvin. He was 11 years older then me. I invited her and her girlfriend to some bbq's that we had. And we she and I started to get close again her girl didn't like it very much so she stopped talking to me.



This last time neither of us were going to let it go this time... Angie had just recently broken up with her girlfriend. Shalvin and I were on the outs and I wasn't going to go back this time. So I finally broke it off... She and I started dating immediately no hesitation on either of our sides. We weren;t exclusive. And she made sure that I knew that!!!

So after a few month and a huge fight, she asked me out and I gladly accepted. Finally after 7 years we were going to actually be together...



And that's were we are now. We just had our 5 year anniversary. And I love her more and more everyday. I am glad that we have gone threw to get where we are today.. Otherwise I don't think that it would have worked.!



I guess that I just needed to get this out because it will eventually lead to the real reason I started this blog. To get things off my chest. I know that it might take me a little while to get everything out.

Why do they change the movie from the book sooooooo much

Last night Angie and I went to the movies. We saw "My sisters keeper". I read the book and totally fell in love with everything about it. I understand that they have to take parts out and they have to take people out. However why do they have to change the whole ending??? In watching the movie and towards the end when the wrong person died, I was pissed... The ending the book had was beautiful and I loved it.. Katie was not suppose to die!!! Anna was.... Anna was suppose to die on her way to the hospital after the hearing and suppose to give Kate the kidney and Kate was suppose to go into remission and live a very long life... It doesn't make sense that Kate died...The book ending made way more sense... This is why I hate reading the book first...
This is why I think I hated reading... Probably why I refused to read any of the Harry Potter books... Why, why, why!!!! Stupid stupid stupid... I love reading and I love movies!!! But for gods sake, if you are going to make a movie from a book, they don't change the whole ending....
I hate Hollywood!!!

7 things you prolly didnt need to know... But now you can die happy!!!

Well thanks Krystal!!! Here I am just trying to help a girl out and read a blog here and there... But Then I get to yours, and ive been 'tapped' so here it is!!!

7 honest things about me

1. I have every intention of changing my last name to Wargo.

2. I live waaaayyy beyond my means.

3. I am the youngest of 3 and Im the only girl.

4. I paint my nails a diffrent color almost daily!

5. I totaly have an old man crush on Dick Van Dyke

6. I loooove crunchy food

7. I miss my family very very very much

And there you have it... 7 not known honest facts about me and my life... 7 things Im pretty sure that everyone could have lived the rest of their lives not knowing... However I sure now that you know them, you'll have a much fuller life!

Ha!

Oh how I loath APS!!!

So there I am sitting at work when its dawns on me that it lunch time... So I talk to Marissa and tell here that its time for lunch and that maybe we should think about going to Long Wongs.... So we drive down 7 minutes form work and there, on the corner of 7th ave and Missourri there is a police officer directing traffic. Also on this corner is the Long Wongs I've been craving... I look at the "OPEN" singn and notice that its not on... I have a mini melt down because I just wanted it sooooo bad!!! When Marissa opens the car door and says that she is still gonna check to see if the door is unlocked and they are open... She opes the door and says in a loud whister, "Wow its effin hot in here". The cook comes out and says "Yeah thats because the power is out and no one can tell us why". WIth that we are out of the store and back in the car... This is where I decide that I'm going to call Angie to see what she is doing... Well she tells me that the power is out at my house too>... We live a good 2 miles away on 12th St... And then all of a sudden, I look back and the street light is working and the "OPEN" sign at Long Wongs is on... I do the happy dance and I make Marissa get out of the car and we go inside... And really I LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE Long Wongs... 8 wings adn french fries for 6.59!!! It was sooo good and sooo tastey!!!

First Blog Ever

Well I was talking to my good friend Krystal (http://www.tapthatmom.blogspot.com) about starting a blog... I have been thinking about it for a while now just to get things out of my head and onto something... So I figure what better then to blog....

Well I guess I'll start off with a little something about myself... I am 25 and live in hot and sunny Arizona, I live right now with my girlfriend of 5 years and my second oldest brother... I am the youngest of 3 and loooove being the baby!!! I have 2 dogs, 1 cat, 2 turtles, and 4 fish... My girlfriend says that we have a zoo and wont let me get anymore animals, no matter how big or small.... I guess I can see where she is comming from... Concidering the amout we pay for rent and that food for the animals that we already have!!!!

I started getting really into reading books... I was never a really big reader as a child, but now I am really intrested in reading... Its kinds weird.. I feel kinda grown up!!! Both my parent read all the time and all the adults in my life were always with a nose in a book... And now that I am an "adult" I read all the time!!!

So back to my "now" life...
Angie and I have been together for 5 years... Its an amazing feeling to be more and more in love with someone every day.. I still get those stupid butterflies in my stomach!!! You'd think that after 5 years that would at least go away!!! But no... Still get the butterflies and I still get nervus aroud her!!! Its pretty awesome I think... I like to spend all (or most of my time at lease) with her.. Ive never really felt that way before... Oh and I still randomally find myself smiling when I think about her... But still its not all roses!!! We are both fire signs... Im and Aries and she is a Sagitarus... Its a loving firey relationship... But I love every minute of it...